A few days ago, a Vietnamese woman proposed to me. I was in a custom clothing shop in Hoi An, where it is common for foreigners to have custom suits made. My 19-year old son was getting fit for something. We have been travelling in Vietnam. As I waited for him, Mai, who worked in the shop sat down next […]
He had a beautiful night with his partner. They made love, connected. They slept, body against body. It was hard to leave her side. That morning, at work, the desire to call her was strong. To text her, to stay connected. He still felt her – touch, scent, and sensation. And it felt… so good. The ecstasy of connection was […]
This past Sunday, I got stuck in a cabin up in Montana in a blizzard, trying to Lyft my way out to no avail. Stranded, no car, eventually I got out, and even had some fun on the way. The experience while challenging gave me inspiration for what I speak to in the New Year, since I don’t bother with […]
To be in relationship is to step into a boxing ring. We take blows and dish them out. We pivot left and right. In the first few rounds, we perform all kinds of fancy footwork to impress our partner. In the thick of trying to make things work – fulfill a partner’s needs or advocate for our own – a […]
Front of mind and back of mind. These are the two places where we typically hold a committed partner when love is unrequited or relationship challenges arise. In front, is when we are in fear… Of losing a partner. Of it being over. Of the threat of relationship ending or divorce. Monkey mind and scared heart run the scripts – What […]
Have you ever been in love? Madly in love? With someone you couldn’t be with? Or someone you fought with? Maybe he or she didn’t have reciprocal feelings. Or there was a core incongruence – like he lived on the other side of the country or she wanted kids, or a consistent issue that convoluted the simple truth that you […]
I sit quietly. The typical white noise in my head – thoughts of what I have to do, where I have to be, who posted what on facebook – is absent. All weekend, I have been sitting in council, hearing others’ stories and challenges, looking into eyes, seeing tears, experiencing joys. Away from technology, we wake up together. Share dreams […]
Love ‘em or hate ‘em. The holidays are still coming. Watching the game. Making the stuffing. Carving the turkey. Eating until we’re stuffed. Black Friday. Preparing for Christmas, Hanukkah, or Kwanza. Exchanging gifts. Being with loved ones. Planning for New Year’s. The big night out or the big party. Resolutions, anyone? It’s a time of social commitments, family gatherings, work […]
How does anyone stay safe in this country anymore? I wondered Thursday morning, upon seeing news of the Thousand Oaks shooting. Thousand Oaks. It’s a place where I’ve visited friends, to where I once considered moving. A quiet, polished, picture-perfect suburb tucked in the valley inland of the Santa Monica mountains, north of Los Angles. Needless to say, this one […]
I can’t. I won’t. It’s not possible. I don’t know how to. It doesn’t work. Resistance. It’s a dragon. A monster. A fear-baiter. And sometimes an ally. Resistance stops the haters from feeling the love in their hearts. Says I’d rather hate you than feel my own pain. Call me a racist. I don’t care. I will stay safe. I’d […]
