In my 20 year marriage, I had a few holidays where my wife and I were just not in a good way. We weren’t talking much. We were functional or barely dealing with one another. I was wondering if we should stay together or not. And then there was this pressure to get gifts and show up “happy” for her […]
Fear. It shows up often in relationship. I hear a lot of men saying things like… I fear her anger. Or, I fear I’ll never be enough for her. I also hear, I fear she’ll never want to have sex again. I fear that if I try to talk about it, she’s gonna blow up at me. Do you have […]
Love ‘em or hate ‘em. The holidays are still coming. Watching the game. Making the stuffing. Carving the turkey. Eating until we’re stuffed. Black Friday. Preparing for Christmas, Hanukkah, or Kwanza. Exchanging gifts. Being with loved ones. Planning for New Year’s. The big night out or the big party. Resolutions, anyone? It’s a time of social commitments, family gatherings, work […]
I remember 8 years ago, I first started asking the question. It was in my kitchen where I was washing the dishes in my suburban house in Boulder, CO. Feeling quite desperate and overwhelmed with everything in my life – from running my business, helping run a household, raising a son, and all the other stuff that comes with it. […]
William is a high-powered exec in his day job but a humiliated servant at home. His wife steamrolls over him when it comes to just about anything. On top of that, she wants him to step up and be more manly. And while he has a sense of what it means to be more “manly,” he wonders, how the hell […]
Rick was like many of my clients. A high-achieving executive, he crushed it at work but at home all his skills and talents fell flat. His marriage was floundering and his wife was unhappy. Do you get more validation at work than from your wife? If you do, it would make sense that you might be avoidant at home. Such […]
We live in unprecedented times, when a woman is more independent than ever. What a great thing – be it climbing the corporate ladder, pursuing her spiritual journey, or living in her freedom and autonomy. At its best, the new landscape offers a woman many options in her life. At its worst, she uses her independence to disconnect from her […]
The house of your marriage is on fire. You spin in the same conflict with your wife. You hear the same words from her. “I can’t trust you. You don’t do what you say. I don’t feel like you’re on my team.” It’s enough for a guy to lose hope in the future of his marriage. And even worse, lose […]
“She shuts down on me,” my client Rick says to me. He’s not used to that. In his work as a tech CEO, he consistently has the attention and focus of others. He’s used to his words being heard and people being open to him. “Sometimes I can’t figure out what I did. Why’s she like that?” Does your wife […]
You want it. You haven’t had it for a while. In fact, you’re hungry for it. Sometimes, you even feel like you’re at the mercy of it. You want it now. But you know you can’t demand it. You know that demanding will just make it more likely that you won’t get it. Besides, she’s an autonomous independent being. What […]
