Tag: personal growth

How We Fill Our Ancestral Void

Palms pressed together, finger tips at his chin, a businessman in a blue suit bows on his knees at the bust of 13th century General Tran Hung Dao. Ngoc Son Temple on Jade Island in Hoan Kiem Lake, a mere 300 steps over the iconic Rising Sun bridge, provides a welcome respite from the bustling streets of Hanoi. Fruit, chung cake […]

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Creating Distance To Create Desire

He had a beautiful night with his partner. They made love, connected. They slept, body against body. It was hard to leave her side. That morning, at work, the desire to call her was strong. To text her, to stay connected. He still felt her – touch, scent, and sensation. And it felt… so good.  The ecstasy of connection was […]

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The Real 2019 Game-Changer: The Story You Live In

This past Sunday, I got stuck in a cabin up in Montana in a blizzard, trying to Lyft my way out to no avail. Stranded, no car, eventually I got out, and even had some fun on the way. The experience while challenging gave me inspiration for what I speak to in the New Year, since I don’t bother with […]

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A Surefire Way To Have A Great Christmas

Christmas. How will you spend it this year? Will you wake up, greeted by family? Or maybe you’ll be alone? Maybe you don’t even celebrate it. Regardless, it’s a time of year when we often take stock of our relationships. With a spouse or partner, we may become aware of how we are in connection or not. How things have […]

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Love Is A Boxing Ring:
Punch or Throw In The Towel

To be in relationship is to step into a boxing ring. We take blows and dish them out. We pivot left and right. In the first few rounds, we perform all kinds of fancy footwork to impress our partner. In the thick of trying to make things work – fulfill a partner’s needs or advocate for our own – a […]

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One Trick To Combat Unrequited Love

Front of mind and back of mind. These are the two places where we typically hold a committed partner when love is unrequited or relationship challenges arise. In front, is when we are in fear… Of losing a partner. Of it being over. Of the threat of relationship ending or divorce. Monkey mind and scared heart run the scripts – What […]

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Feel The Burn of Love

Have you ever been in love? Madly in love? With someone you couldn’t be with? Or someone you fought with? Maybe he or she didn’t have reciprocal feelings. Or there was a core incongruence – like he lived on the other side of the country or she wanted kids, or a consistent issue that convoluted the simple truth that you […]

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One Way To Stop Monkey Mind

I sit quietly. The typical white noise in my head – thoughts of what I have to do, where I have to be, who posted what on facebook –  is absent. All weekend, I have been sitting in council, hearing others’ stories and challenges, looking into eyes, seeing tears, experiencing joys. Away from technology, we wake up together. Share dreams […]

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Guns And Consciousness

How does anyone stay safe in this country anymore? I wondered Thursday morning, upon seeing news of the Thousand Oaks shooting. Thousand Oaks.  It’s a place where I’ve visited friends, to where I once considered moving. A quiet, polished, picture-perfect suburb tucked in the valley inland of the Santa Monica mountains, north of Los Angles. Needless to say, this one […]

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A Midterm Election Of The Soul

I can’t. I won’t. It’s not possible. I don’t know how to. It doesn’t work. Resistance. It’s a dragon. A monster. A fear-baiter. And sometimes an ally. Resistance stops the haters from feeling the love in their hearts. Says I’d rather hate you than feel my own pain. Call me a racist. I don’t care. I will stay safe.  I’d […]

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