She looks over him at the kitchen table. He is home after a long day at work, eating a snack, reading a text on his phone. She says something, then something else. He’s not sure what. Her tone says all he needs to know. Oh shit. Now what? He thinks. He looks up from his phone, reluctantly. All he wants is […]
“Who would I be if I wasn’t hustling to make some other person, real or imagined, fall in love with me?”* See me. Hear me. Show me that I matter. Touch me. Feel me. Tell me that I am not invisible. Hold me. Make me safe. Don’t let me go. I will use all my charms to woo you. My […]
You love her. You care for her. And… you fear losing her. You fear losing her precisely because… … you love her. … and you care for her. Whatever the reasons are, one thing is clear. You’re not free, in fear. No man is. And typically you don’t even know that you’re not free. But you feel it. Through an […]
Note: These tips apply to women, as well, taught from childhood to be the “nice girl.” If that’s you, flip she to he, her to him. This blog is a continuation from last week. Last week’s gist was… “Nice guy” behavior has its roots in momma-pleasing behavior from childhood. And as a result, she resents you for it. – So […]
Sounds horrible. Why would a woman hate you for being nice? Because you’re not just being nice. You’re also being dishonest. “He’s so good to me,” she says. “And yet, something is off.” What she’s not saying is, “There’s something I don’t trust in him.” What is it, that something? Rewind. It all started as a little boy. You’re three years […]
Guys, have you ever found yourself saying, “I can’t make her happy”? Men say this all the time. Married men. Single men. Smart men. Not so smart men. “I feel like I’m always trying with her. But I just can’t get it right.” Where’d we get the idea, as guys, that we have to make her happy? Why do we […]
One swings. One observes. One attacks. One dissolves. One chases. One sits. Who are you? The boxer or the meditator? Are you neither? Or are you both? The boxer steps into the ring. He faces a clear opponent. He protects and attacks. He dodges and jabs. All his powers are focused on self-preservation. He fights to win. The meditator sits […]
Hell no. Don’t listen. Hell yeah. You better listen. Which is it? We’ll get there but first, what happens inside of you when she says, “I need to talk”? For many men, it’s, Uh, oh, I’m in trouble, again? What did I do this time? How’s that possible? You never get it right? I often wondered during 20 years of […]
Are you the guy who feels nothing or feels everything? You know which side of the pendulum you swing to. You’ve been inside of you your entire life. So which is it? Stoic? Or Sensitive? Both have their costs and benefits – from the obvious to the not so obvious. The stoic guy has a wall around his heart. The sensitive […]
Are you the guy who feels horrible when your partner says – “you’re just not open” or “you’re so checked out”? If you’re anything like me, you really take it to heart. You consider how you can show up better. The good news is you care. The bad news is you may forget to look at her, as well. Until you […]
