Tag: relationship

How Can She Love You, When You Hate Yourself?

“I know, I know, I’m supposed to love myself,” a client says to me. “Find more self-love and self-trust. But in truth, I just want more than anything to find deep connection with a partner. All of me aches for it.” Can you relate? I hear this from some of my male clients. Felix pauses. He looks me over. His […]

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Men, Reclaim How You Sexually Project Onto Her

Men, have you ever thought, if only she’d open to me, let me in, I’d be fine?  That’s often our story. If we’re not getting it, we feel unloved. (This one’s for the men out there; women may enjoy it as well.) How might we reclaim that power we often give away? When sexual desire takes us over? When we […]

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An Unimaginable Sex Story

Losing love hurts. It can be an ache. A deep black hole, an emptiness, a burn. Love is something we seek and something we can project onto anyone. A passerby on the street or a colleague at work. While the words may not be exact, we may feel it as – If only she/he were in my life, I’d be […]

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The Allure Of The Exotic To Slay The Comfort That Kills

The tropical jungle, a mountain of green comes at me at 60 kilometers per hour. I hold the throttle firm on my scooter as I round the bend of a rural highway in Koh Lanta, Thailand. A woman concealed in black Muslim robes rippling in the wind behind her, speeds towards me on a motorcycle like a dark angel of […]

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How We Fill Our Ancestral Void

Palms pressed together, finger tips at his chin, a businessman in a blue suit bows on his knees at the bust of 13th century General Tran Hung Dao. Ngoc Son Temple on Jade Island in Hoan Kiem Lake, a mere 300 steps over the iconic Rising Sun bridge, provides a welcome respite from the bustling streets of Hanoi. Fruit, chung cake […]

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Love In Vietnam

A few days ago, a Vietnamese woman proposed to me. I was in a custom clothing shop in Hoi An, where it is common for foreigners to have custom suits made. My 19-year old son was getting fit for something. We have been travelling in Vietnam. As I waited for him, Mai, who worked in the shop sat down next […]

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Creating Distance To Create Desire

He had a beautiful night with his partner. They made love, connected. They slept, body against body. It was hard to leave her side. That morning, at work, the desire to call her was strong. To text her, to stay connected. He still felt her – touch, scent, and sensation. And it felt… so good.  The ecstasy of connection was […]

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The Real 2019 Game-Changer: The Story You Live In

This past Sunday, I got stuck in a cabin up in Montana in a blizzard, trying to Lyft my way out to no avail. Stranded, no car, eventually I got out, and even had some fun on the way. The experience while challenging gave me inspiration for what I speak to in the New Year, since I don’t bother with […]

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A Surefire Way To Have A Great Christmas

Christmas. How will you spend it this year? Will you wake up, greeted by family? Or maybe you’ll be alone? Maybe you don’t even celebrate it. Regardless, it’s a time of year when we often take stock of our relationships. With a spouse or partner, we may become aware of how we are in connection or not. How things have […]

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Love Is A Boxing Ring:
Punch or Throw In The Towel

To be in relationship is to step into a boxing ring. We take blows and dish them out. We pivot left and right. In the first few rounds, we perform all kinds of fancy footwork to impress our partner. In the thick of trying to make things work – fulfill a partner’s needs or advocate for our own – a […]

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