“BOOM! One day she asked me for a divorce,” John says to me. He’s absolutely blindsided, as if it came out of nowhere. But yet it didn’t. He and his wife rarely had sex. They were more like roommates than a married couple. And to deal or not deal, he worked a lot. Are you asleep at the steering wheel […]
A man walks delicately around his partner. In any moment, she might reprimand him. It’s a pattern in their relationship. In reaction, he thinks, If only she’d give me some peace of mind. If only she’d stay out of my shit, not be after me so much, then I could rest, then I could be ok. He rolls out of bed in […]
Charles shoots me a quick email. Eventually, we talk. He says something I hear from a lot of guys. “I can never be enough for her. I do 9 out of the 10 things she asks me to do. And then I get railed on for not doing the 10th thing.” Can you relate to not being enough for your partner? I’ve […]
It’s a question I get asked often. Twice, in fact, this past week on two different podcasts. When is it time to pack it in? Call it quits? Pull the divorce trigger? It’s a tough spot for a GOOD GUY. A guy who doesn’t want to be the asshole who blows up his marriage. Or fears being the jerk whose […]
“Too bad if you don’t like who I am!” a guy says. He walks out on his wife, thinking, F*#k her, I don’t need this shit anymore. Have you ever been pissed & walked out on your partner? I have. It feels like shit, especially when it happens often. And afterwards, maybe you’re thinking, Do I really have to go back home […]
3 guys in marriages that feel hopeless have a similar story. We never have sex. I can’t make her happy. It’s hopeless. You’ve heard it before. And yet… Are you living in what feels like a hopeless marriage? I was that guy. You know, feeling stuck in the marital dead zone. Maybe you’re like guy #3. Fine with the dead […]
Rick hadn’t been intimate with his wife for almost a year. They’d been married for fifteen. “Once in a blue moon, she’ll let me touch her breasts,” Rick said, as if reluctantly accepting a consolation prize. His options, in his view, were to stay in a sexless marriage or leave and risk losing his family. The double bind of Damned if you do, […]
A man is struggling in his marriage. But he doesn’t know that there are options for him to improve things. Options beyond HIDING OUT on his phone, ESCAPING through work, getting his physical needs met through porn, or RUNNING from reality into booze or pot. In truth, he feels crappy about acting like this. He hides his behaviors from his kids and wife, and at times, has them out […]
At least several times per month I hear a version of this from guys who contact me. “She’s always bossing me around. It’s constant,” Bill, a father of two, says. “She tells me, ‘You never listen to me. You didn’t do this. You didn’t do that. And what about that other thing I asked you to do?’” Do YOU EVER feel like you’re […]
THIS is the moment when it ALL changes. As in NOTHING will ever be the same again. EVER. The moment when he becomes the guy DONE thinking… I shoulda’ said that. If only I’d have done that. Next time I’m gonna tell her. Do you know that guy? Are You That Guy? Who isn’t? I was that guy. 7 years ago. And then it ALL changed. […]
