We’ve been together 7 years, a man says. We’ve been together 12 years, says another. We’ve been together 22 years, says a third guy. What do all these guys have in common? All of them flatlined in their marriages. They all felt dead inside with their partner. They struggled with passion in their marriages. Passion. It often fades in a […]
My client *Jacob is a powerhouse at work, in a field in which his highly specialized legal expertise in corporate mergers is in high demand. But at home, his power wanes. He is like many men I talk with. His wife is distant, and emotionally cold. Intimacy in his marriage is lacking. Lack of sex in a marriage is a […]
You commit to one woman. She’s the one you will be with. She’s the one woman with whom you will have sex. You’ve committed to her in marriage or monogamy. And then, the door closes. Over time during your relationship, she closes the door behind the sex life you once shared. Has your partner closed the door on your sex […]
Marriage. Relationship. Coupledom. Commitment to one partner. That person you can rely on forever. Sounds beautiful upfront. And yet, if you’ve been in a long-term marriage or relationship, it’s not that simple. That one person is also the one who will trigger the sh*t out of you, causing you to feel trapped at times; in fact, that’s their job. The […]
Dave, an eight-figure portfolio manager, manages and takes significant risks consistently in his professional life. But when it comes to his marriage, he’s surprisingly risk-averse. His wife has closed off to him. She’s sexually shut down on him. Has your partner shut down on you sexually? Sex was the initial concern for which Dave came to see me. “I can’t […]
I remember many years ago, when I was first introduced to the teachings of Ken Wilber, transpersonal psychology writer. He said men on the evolutionary scale have two instincts. What are men’s two primary instincts historically? The first instinct for a man, he said, is to KILL IT. Kill, hunt, get the prey, conquer, win, feed the tribe. Today that […]
“I want to have more sex with my wife,” said Rick, a CEO client. “OK, so what’s your sense of why it’s not happening?” I asked. “She’s busy all the time. She’s tired when I’m awake. And I’m tired when she’s up. It’s like we just miss each other,” he says. Are you in a sexless or sexually-challenged marriage? For […]
Nate has reached his breaking point. He’s fed up. He crushes it as a CEO of a tech company by day. But can’t control his wife. “Goddamnit she’s gonna give it to me. I’m sick of this crap.” Nate’s Scottish complexion goes red. “I hear your emotion, Nate,” I say. “But how would you feel if somebody were saying those […]
You want it. You want it bad. Real bad. The desire takes you over. It’s bigger and stronger than you. And when you’re in the vortex of desire, you may not know you’re in it. A client recently said this regarding his experience of desiring sex with his wife. Do you experience sex-hunger with your wife? When we look deeper […]
Tim, a high profile lawyer, is touted by his team for his communication skills in the court room. He’s a master orator who wins many cases. Yet at home, he falls on his face, often at a loss for words, explicitly when his wife says all he cares about is sex. “Yeah, you work all day, then expect to use […]
