“She has no idea how hard I work.” Robert, a seven-figure tech entrepreneur, shakes his head. “Does she think I slave away all day just for me? “I want all the wonderful things that she wants. In fact, I love providing for her. But damn if…” He pauses, thinks. “Ok, fine, she’s made it clear, I need to show up […]
My client *Jacob is a powerhouse at work, in a field in which his highly specialized legal expertise in corporate mergers is in high demand. But at home, his power wanes. He is like many men I talk with. His wife is distant, and emotionally cold. Intimacy in his marriage is lacking. Lack of sex in a marriage is a […]
You want it. You haven’t had it for a while. In fact, you’re hungry for it. Sometimes, you even feel like you’re at the mercy of it. You want it now. But you know you can’t demand it. You know that demanding will just make it more likely that you won’t get it. Besides, she’s an autonomous independent being. What […]
Vulnerability. It’s a bit of a buzzword in the relationship world these days. Brené Brown speaks about it often. Specifically, how it’s important to “embrace your vulnerability.” Why bother? Why be vulnerable with your wife? Well, if your marriage is on the rocks, pay attention. 90% of divorces in college-educated couples are initiated by the wife. Yes, a staggering number. […]
Every month I hear from several dozen men struggling in their marriage or relationship. They say things like… “I don’t feel close to my wife.” “I’m not happy with my marriage.” “I don’t feel like I can meet her needs.” Do you struggle to meet your partner’s needs? When it comes to your partner’s needs, I offer a huge distinction […]
“Happy wife, happy life.” “It’s your job to make her happy.” “If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” No doubt you’ve heard one or all of these expressions. Maybe one of these voices lives in your head. How do you make your wife happy? Every month I talk to guys who approach their marriage as a “wife happy-making” endeavor. They […]
“Crushing,” my client Tommy, a CTO at a software company, said. “It’s crushing when my wife’s upset at me. I love her and want to be a good man for her.” And then the dagger came. “I can’t be OK when she’s not OK.” Do you struggle being OK when your partner’s not OK? The dagger was in his words, […]
Below is a letter a married man struggling with “not enoughness” sent to his wife recently, inspired by a video of mine. Dear Cindy*, There is something that has been weighing on my heart that I want to share with you. I often find myself grappling with the feeling that I’m not enough for you. Yes, it relates to our […]
“Why do you write about sex so much?” My client Jeff recently asked me. I thought about it for a moment, realizing that what seemed obvious to me wasn’t to him. “In 15 years of coaching men in relationship, so many are feeling deprived of touch and physical intimacy in their marriages. And… that was once my story, so I […]
Sex. It should be simple. It should be clean. She should just want you. And yet when she doesn’t, you can feel a ton of rejection, a sense of desperation, and like you’re screwed – no pun intended. Do you experience sexual rejection from your wife or partner? Or maybe you just don’t get enough sex? A mentor of mine, […]
