Marriage – years in, we often wonder, how did I get here? Who is this person I married?

If we go back, we remember. In the beginning, there was attraction. Great conversation. Physical intimacy. And a desire to be together a lot.

Then came the let’s commit phase. The desire to be monogamous. To spend even more time together. And of course, a lot of sex.

Then the dreaming together. To build a life together. Maybe even have children one day. The big M word. Marriage.

For many of us, it carried us along like a dream. And then one day reality hit.

Is your marriage like you dreamed it would be?

After years of marriage, often comes the taking for granted of one another. You’re married. It’s not so easy for your partner to leave.

Then comes the forgetting of one another. The becoming invisible. The losing one another in life’s busyness. In time, the dream of the marriage fizzles.

And it’s here that we may wonder who we are with this person. We may even wake up panicked in the middle of the night. Who is this person next to me? How did I get here?

It’s as if we are stuck in a small version of ourselves. Stuck in a ‘best we can get’ reality that feels confining. We have lost our ability to create the marriage that we want.

What is the #1 thing that stops you from creating the marriage that you want?

Maybe you’re like a lot of the individuals I talk with, who say, “It’s a lost cause. He’ll never change. She’ll never change.”

And yet underneath is something bigger. A fear. A fear of rejection. A fear that if I speak what I really want and don’t get it, then I’m really screwed.

The things we want in relationship are often really basic. Trust, emotional security, respect, to be seen and heard, to have physical and emotional intimacy, to experience connection.

Above all, we want to have a home in our partner. To feel like we can come to our partner with anything and be completely accepted and loved. But this rarely happens for many of us after years of marriage.

Do you have what you want in your marriage?

Often we don’t because in order to keep the marriage together, we go quiet. We stop talking to one another. We hide out from our partner.

We do so because we fear upsetting the daily rhythm. We’ve had too many experiences of things going sideways when we try to speak up.

And so, we begin to suppress our desires. Succinctly said, we betray ourselves.

We do it with the idea that, that’s what’s best for the marriage. To keep things smooth sailing. And yet inside it’s anything but smooth sailing.

Is your marriage smooth sailing?

What if creating the marriage you want is doing exactly what you fear – speaking up? What if you knew you had to rock the boat? Things have to get worse before they got better.

Well, that’s scary. And so, you seek guidance. That’s probably why you’re reading this – for guidance.

Let’s face it, when you have a good game plan, you can relax. You can prepare to execute on your plan with some measure of confidence.

Are you willing to act to create the marriage you want?

Well, I’ve got a good game plan for you that has helped many of my clients over the last fifteen years.

Check out these three key steps to get past the fear of rejection and go after what you want in your marriage.

Step one – deal with your fear of rejection. As you deal with that fear, you’ll learn how to rock the boat skillfully.

You’ll do it in a way that demonstrates to your partner that you getting what you want will help them get what they want. Win-win.

In the video below, discover steps two and three, including how to celebrate your partner’s wins to encourage them to give you even more of what you want.

Creating the marriage you want does not have to be complicated.

Along with an amazing game plan, it begins with your will to get into the trenches. Your motivation to take action.

To look at the cost you’ve paid for the status quo. And know that you’re no longer willing to pay that cost.

To hit a point of conviction where your fear of what you’ll lose is no match for what you know you want to gain.

Are you ready to avoid the thing that stops you from creating the marriage you want?

If so, shoot me a quick email. Let’s explore what’s possible for you.

And if you’re not ready for the deeper commitment and investment of 1:1 coaching, check out The Men’s Relationship School.

A school that is built on a decade of the best of my work coaching men in relationship. I’m offering it for a low monthly fee of $89 and free for the month of October.

Don’t wait! Try it out for free now and learn how to…

• Have a strong backbone to GET THE RESPECT AND LOVE you want.
• STOP BEING INVISIBLE and start going after what you want in your relationship.
• GET PAST YOUR FEARS of her freak outs and stay bold and calm in the heat of conflict.

And for inspiring daily relationship tips and action items just for men, join my men’s-only private Facebook Group Men Mastering Relationship.