Vulnerability. It’s a bit of a buzzword in the relationship world these days.

Brené Brown speaks about it often.

Specifically, how it’s important to “embrace your vulnerability.”

Why bother? Why be vulnerable with your wife?

Well, if your marriage is on the rocks, pay attention.

90% of divorces in college-educated couples are initiated by the wife. Yes, a staggering number.

Her number one reason for divorce is the belief that her husband is emotionally checked out.

Successful men, like you, who are so busy kicking ass at work.

But at home, they have no idea how to open their hearts.

Does your wife complain that you’re emotionally unavailable? She doesn’t feel your heart?

If yes, vulnerability offers a pathway to avoiding the divorce scenario mentioned above.

In this moment, she’s asking herself – What’s the point of being married to him if I can’t experience his heart?

And so, the quickest way to your heart is through your vulnerability.

That means speaking your fears. Explicitly your fears regarding your wife and your marriage.

“I’m afraid our marriage won’t last.”

“I’m scared that we’re on the brink of divorce.”

“I fear being vulnerable with you.”

Not very manly, is it?

And yet nothing could be further from the truth. It’s a paradox.

On the surface, it can seem whimpy to expose your vulnerabilities to your wife.

Especially if you’re a guy who’s getting beat up verbally, emotionally, and sexually.

You may be asking yourself…

Why would I open my heart to her the way she treats me?

If so, let’s get clear, brother, that’s a wise voice. Pay attention to it.

It’s your inner voice of safety and self-protection.

It’s saying clearly to you… Hey man, I don’t feel safe with you sharing your heart with her.

That’s valid. The key is how to use that voice as an advisor and not a master.

When your voice of self-protection is your master, it shuts down all vulnerability and you become emotionally unavailable to her.

Typically this is an overreaction, unless there’s clear signs of abuse.

A more balanced reaction would be to get clear that you don’t feel safe and then take responsibility for your emotional safety, instead of blaming it on her.

So how do you share vulnerability with your wife?

In the video below, discover the right way to be vulnerable with your wife so that you don’t step on a land mine with her.

There is a right and wrong way to do vulnerability. Few guys are coached on this.

The right way honors your need to be safe and heard instead of blamed.

And it honors your need to be an autonomous man, meaning you don’t expect her to rescue you or make you ok, like a little boy wanting mommy to make him ok. No man wants that.

Master your needs and you’ll know how to be vulnerable and stay in your power at the same time.

Once you do that, you’ll become the man she’ll never leave.

The man she’s dying to get to know.

Are you ready to become a strong vulnerable man who’s irresistible to his wife?

Shoot me a quick email and let’s talk.