New Years. Yeah, whatever. The older I get, the more “whatever” I can get with the new year and resolutions.

That is until I am reminded that it’s a chance to consider how I can up my game in my life and relationship.

What would you like to create in your relationship in the new year? 

It’s not an easy question because it reminds us of what we don’t currently have with our partner. It can feel like a bummer.

So it’s natural to not ask the question and withdraw or check out from any ambitions in your relationship altogether.

Hell, maybe you’ve already put in a bunch of work this past year trying to create what you want with your partner and it hasn’t worked.

It’s enough to put a guy into what I call a “conditional mindset.” Every effort he makes to improve his relationship then becomes conditional.

And so if he’s even still willing to consider working on his relationship, his head spins with questions like…

• What am I going to have to do?
• Will it work?
• How do I know it will work?
• What if my partner rejects my efforts?
• And of course, how much will it cost?

These are all reasonable questions but what often gets missed is that underneath is a scared man seeking to protect himself from failure.

His “failure mindset” becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

It’s a paradoxically safe orientation that makes him feel like he’s got everything to lose and nothing to gain when it comes to working on his relationship.

He says things like…

• I’ll do it if it will work.
• I’ll do it if it’s not too hard.
• I’ll do it if she’ll accept my efforts.
• I’ll do it if it doesn’t cost too much.

And so he puts as little skin in the game as possible to feel like he’s doing something without really doing much at all.

He watches a lot of relationship videos on YouTube, reads a few chapters of a relationship book, or works with a therapist based on his hourly rate vs his proven track record of actual results.

It’s what I call a feel-good, half-assed effort.

His willingness to show up 100% is ultimately lacking in all his efforts. To be fully committed to his relationship.

And trust me, your partner can smell that on you a mile away.

How committed are you to transforming your relationship in 2023?

Without commitment, all the New Year’s resolutions and aspirations won’t produce a thing for your relationship.

The good news is that the power to create a kick-ass relationship lies within you.

SWAP out the conditional mindset for the committed mindset.

Check out this 3.5-minute video for a SWAP process that goes straight to the heart of what extinguishes most new year’s resolutions.

Make 2023 a year like none other. The year that you take charge of your relationship once and for all.

Anything less is a disservice to you, your partner, and your family.

Create what you want in your relationship in 2023.

Take the first step and let’s have a quick chat.

A guaranteed, powerful conversation to help you get the upper hand on your marriage. I’d be honored to hear from you.

And to be clear, talking with me is just an honest, real conversation between two guys. No sales pitch. To get started, shoot me a quick email.

And for the many women wanting to learn more about men, here is a special link for you women.

Lastly for the men who aren’t ready to talk 1:1 and still want to transform their marriage, check out the Men’s Relationship School for free.

It’s a great way to get to know me if you’re interested in coaching but not quite ready yet to shoot me an email.